One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.
- Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
- Friends: Don't forget to socialize
- Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
- Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
- Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
- Society: Don't forget to be perfect
- Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
- Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
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